SEVEN STEPS TO HAVING AN AMAZING ELOPEMENT EXPERIENCE
The complete Elopement guide
How to plan your elopement
While planning your elopement is a lot less stressful than planning a big wedding, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to know where to get started. But before picking locations, dates and all that other stuff the most important decision you and the love of your life need to make is what exactly do you want out of this experience?
No matter what, it will be memorable, but with the almost infinite number of options at your disposal, planning your elopement can feel a little daunting at times. Do you want a multi-day hike to the most incredible backcountry mountain-top ceremony site, complete with camping under the stars, a fireside breakfast and then a romantic sunrise ceremony? Or perhaps, something a little more easy going in the majestic Yosemite valley with waterfalls and towering peaks just a short jaunt from the car. Your elopement can be as simple, or as extravagant as you want. A great place to start is discussing your perfect trip.
Are you going to elope to your favorite place, or somewhere you’ve always dreamt of going?
Is it a wedding day full of hiking besides rivers or cuddled up in a cozy cabin?
Helicopter tours? Fine dining? Really it is a question of what would be the perfect wedding for you?
Once you figure this out, incorporate your wedding into these plans and now you have a great framework for your elopement adventure. With that perfect trip in mind you can follow this elopement guide and take the steps below and plan your adventure in earnest.
The Seven Steps
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1. Pick an elopement Destination
One of the most important decisions to make is where exactly are you eloping? When picking a location the first question is are you revisiting one of your favorite places from past travels together or are you traveling somewhere new?
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I find it best to start with the general and then work towards the specific. As a couple what are you more drawn to? Snow capped mountains, the tropics? Close your eyes and imagine standing face to face with the love of your life. With tears of joy, and trembling hearts, you say your vows and exchange rings, pledging your lives to each other. Are you atop a windswept mountain with sprawling views behind you, under the canopy of an old growth forest swirling with fog, or standing on toes in the sand beside the crashing ocean? Is there snow? Fall colors, blooming wildflowers, stormy skies or brilliant sunshine? Once you have a vision of where you'd like to go it narrows down the number of locations that will fit and you can start looking at specific places that can provide your ideal landscape.
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Many locations will have restrictions on where elopement ceremonies can take place. In the national parks it varies from park to park, but most have restrictions regarding where the ceremony can take place and how many guests can attend. Even in the wilderness of a national park you will oftentimes need a permit. A quick google search of your desired location should tell you if it is required. The permit will usually set limits on how many can be in attendance. If you’d like to have a little décor at your ceremony like an arbor or flowers, your permit will likely say what is and isn’t allowed so keep that in mind when selecting a location.
Looking for location ideas? Get some inspiration!
2.Chose your wedding Date
Location and date go hand in hand and you could just as easily be choosing the date first. If you’re set to elope to the beach, you probably don’t want to do it in a winter storm. Just as summer might not be the best time for desert locations. Your location of choice likely has a time that's best to visit at, or it may not even be accessible all year. Depending on how popular the location is you might want to avoid its peak season. Many travel guides will tell you Yosemite is at its best in early June… well about 500,000 other people read the same thing.
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The activities you’d like to do on this grand adventure are going to greatly influence when the best time of year to go is. Pick a date that allows you to do what you want to do. Don’t miss out on the mountain views just to have your wedding in the spring and there's still too much snowpack. Regardless of the location I would highly recommend eloping on a weekday if it is at all possible. Most locations, even remote ones, can be pretty busy on a weekend and crowds are never a great wedding accessory.
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Adventurous elopements are by the very nature a little unpredictable. Winter storms, summer fires, bear activity, you never know what might be happening on your wedding day. Having a backup plan is never a bad idea. It can take a lot of the panic out of a sudden disturbance to your best laid plans. It is also a good idea when booking vendors to ask them how they handle rescheduling due to things like inclement weather and park closures. You need them to be flexible as well
3. Plan the big Day
This is probably the most fun part of elopement planning. With the Location and date decided, it's time to plan the big day! Consider your ideas for your perfect trip together, hiking through the mountains, an evening of stargazing out by the lake or maybe building a snowman with a cup of your favorite coffee in hand. The key to getting great pictures is having a great time. I know it sounds simple, but the whole “act natural” thing works a lot better when you’re having too much fun to focus on the photographer. Think about what’s the most important things to you, your dogs being at the ceremony, getting to the high country for crazy views, incorporating a whitewater rafting adventure, or whatever else will make it even more memorable for you.
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The best times of day for photography are around sunrise and sunset. So the question is, do you want your ceremony to have the best lighting, or would you prefer to be doing romantic portraits at those times? Either way, try and have your ceremony as close to sunrise or sunset as the schedule allows. If at all possible avoid mid day ceremonies unless they are in heavily shaded areas. Use the afternoon for traveling between locations, hiking to locations, a reception lunch with family, or a nap to recover from that sunrise session.
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Elopement ceremonies sometimes get overlooked with all the big adventurous stuff going on but some of the most memorable and moving ceremonies I’ve seen have been these little mountain top weddings. With the mountains as your backdrop and the hiking trails as your aisle, the wedding is going to be stunning already but you can add a few touches to make it reflect your story even more. Depending on the location, free standing arches can be a great addition. For the ceremony consider knot tying. Sand pouring or other traditions to incorporate. A portable speaker can be a great addition for ambiance, or bring someone musically inclined for a live performance.
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Rent a canoe and paddle out to the middle of the mountain wrapped lakes of Glacier National Park. Take your 4x4 and venture down the roads less traveled in Moab for a picnic among the wind swept rocks.
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So Yosemite national park is open and you go ahead with your elopement plans only to find out your chosen ceremony spot has a prescribed burn on your wedding day. This exact scenario has happened to one of my couples. Having a back up ceremony site for such an occasion is a great idea to avoid having to come up with an alternate location on your wedding day.
4.Who’s coming to your wedding?
NOW IT’S TIME TO DECIDE IF YOU WILL INVITE GUESTS
The modern elopement does not require it to be only the two of you. Just don’t forget that your elopement is about your love, don’t let the wants of your guests take over. Beyond your personal choice to include guests or not, your chosen location with likely limit the number of guests that can attend. Wedding permits often limit the number of people in attendance and there is also the question "Will my selected guests actually be able to get there?". An elopement on a mountain top is ridiculously romantic, but grandparents probably can't make the climb. Finally the travel costs of destination elopements can also be financially restrictive on guests as well. But that’s ok, it's your special day.
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The greatest appeal of an elopement is getting to do exactly what you want on your wedding day. With just the two of you there’s ultimate freedom in planning your day so the days schedule revolves around you and you alone. But just because it’s only the two of you on this adventure, doesn’t mean you can’t incorporate family and friends into your day. Nowadays there’s a multitude of options from meeting up with family after, to live streaming, to recording a personal message for later showing.
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With your closest friends or your immediate family in tow you can still have the adventure you desire, and sometimes it can actually help you get off the beaten path. It can be hard to find an officiant willing to hike miles into the backcountry, but your best friend, father, or favorite aunt would be honored to be such a special part of your big day. Your ceremony location and schedule might have to cater a bit to your guests but you should still strive to keep your preferred plans. Probably the most common scheduling conflict is dinner. Your guests want to celebrate with you but going out to eat likely means leaving the park before sunset to get there. Some great solutions I’ve seen are having a home cooked meal so you get back a little later or having the meal catered at your lodging.
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With a multitude of friends and family joining you for the ceremony you will likely have to make some compromises on your adventure but you can still have the elopement of your dreams. Treks to the mountaintops are probably out of the question for your ceremony but you can still get there on your big day. The best way to go about this is to think of the ceremony and the rest of the day as separate events. Have a morning ceremony with all the friends and family then head off into the woods for photos with the rest of your day. Do the ceremony with everyone at sunset and then have the following day be your elopement adventure. A private vow exchange with just the two of you in the wilderness is a great way to keep the adventure part special after the ceremony.
5. Get Creative (Professionals)
HIRE AN ELOPEMENT PHOTOGRAPHER AND/OR VIDEOGRAPHER
Now, I know this seems biased, but I absolutely recommend you hire wedding professionals as part of your elopement. This is a once in a lifetime event, and the more help you have in planning it the more likely it will achieve your vision. In ten years you’ll regret only having selfies of it so a photographer and a videographer are a must. Hair and makeup, florists, cake shops and caterers all have the expertise to bring your vision for the day to life.
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As an elopement photographer I can tell you what I'd look for in an elopement photographer for my own wedding. First off you’re going to be spending a lot of time with your elopement photographer. A full day of hiking down trails and creating amazing wedding photos. So you need to make sure their personality gets along with your own. A good website should convey a decent picture of that, but a phone call or video chat helps a lot. Make sure they are flexible with re-scheduling and will work with you in case of bad weather or other speedbumps.
Hiring a good photographer and Videographer early on in the planning process can also help with planning itself. Your photographer should be well versed with the destination you have envisioned and should be able to help you with planning to have the best possible experience.
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With your grand adventure coming together its time to plan the fine details. Find a florist to provide the perfect flower crown and bouquet. Even if you are planning to go for a more natural look, a hair and makeup artist knows all the tricks and has the expertise to make you look your best even with all the hiking and bad weather. If doing a dinner back at your lodging look into private chefs or caters that can handle the cooking so you have one less thing to worry about. For some locations, off road tour guides, helicopter pilots, or other vendors can make your trip even more special and fun.
6. The Legal Stuff
The modern elopement does not require it to be only the two of you. Just don’t forget that your elopement is about your love, don’t let the wants of your guests take over. Beyond your personal choice to include guests or not, your chosen location will likely limit the number of guests that can attend. Wedding permits often limit the number of people in attendance and there is also the question "Will my selected guests actually be able to get there?". An elopement on a mountain top is ridiculously romantic, but grandparents probably can't make the climb. Finally the travel costs of destination elopements can also be financially restrictive on guests as well. But that’s ok, it's your special day.
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If you are eloping within the United States then the marriage laws of your destination are what you need to research. So if you’re going out of state, it doesn't matter what the laws are at home. Key things to find out; what if any waiting period is there for a marriage license, are there requirements for witnesses, is your chosen type of ceremony i.e. a self uniting marriage allowed?
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Depending on the marriage laws of your destination, your elopement ceremony will most likely need an officiant to make your marriage legal. If you are going the professional officiant route, you may find that the officiant you want won’t travel to your desired ceremony location. So here lies the problem, do you change where you are going to have your elopement because the officiant won't go? Tough call. Depending on where you are eloping state laws might make it possible for a friend or family member to be a legally officiant. Or you can choose to take care of the legal requirements at the courthouse, so then anyone can officiate your real elopement ceremony.
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you will most likely be required to get legally married in your home country. Many couples choose to do a quick courthouse ceremony before or after their elopement to take care of the legal requirements. There are some exceptions to this such as Fiji, making it a great destination for elopements.
7. Decide on your elopement attire
Now that you have decided on where you want to elope and when, you should have an idea of what the weather is going to be like for your adventure. So with that knowledge in hand, it’s time to figure out what you will wear. Obviously, you want to look great, wearing the suit or dress you’ve always dreamed of. But when eloping to the great outdoors there are a few other aspects to consider outside of aesthetics.
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Just as with hiking or camping you have to be prepared for not only the season but the elevation. If getting married in Yosemite in June the weather may be warm down in the valley but still quite chilly in the high country. So for winter weddings or high elevation adventures, if wearing a suit, pick warmer fabrics like wool, cashmere, or tweed, if wearing a dress, long sleeves, or wearing stockings underneath can keep you warm. Layers always help and having a warm jacket, shawl, or other wrap can make for a great photo accessory as well.
For summer weddings and lower elevations try to avoid the above and pick cooler, more breathable fabrics, and less layers.
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Surprisingly, wedding suits and dresses are not the most comfortable attire for trekking down the mountain trails. If your elopement plans involve a decent amount of hiking you’ll definitely want to keep that in mind while picking your attire. Regardless of what you end up picking, these are a few tips that will help you out.
For long hikes and backpacking it’s often best to not wear your wedding clothes and to instead change into them once you arrive at your destination. Bring a collapsible changing hut just in case there isn't any natural cover around. If however you’re hoping to take photos along the way, changing in and out may not work. If wearing a suit, take the jacket off, loosen that tie and try to stay as cool as possible, If wearing a dress, wear shorts underneath so you can hike the dress up and walk unrestrained. If you have a lot of train or pouf bring a belt and cinch it around so you don’t have to carry all of it. Bring shoes with good traction that you’re comfortable hiking in! Changing shoes for photos doesn’t take long and it is way better than tumbling off the mountain.